


You Be My Star

by potionsmaster



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Childhood Memories, Family, Gen, Kaidan Appreciation Week, Kaidan Appreciation Week 2019, The Orchard, lullaby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 16:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20932886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potionsmaster/pseuds/potionsmaster
Summary: Kaidan’s mother sings him a lullaby.  WYWH universe, written for Kaidan Appreciation Week 2019





	You Be My Star

** _You Be My Star,_ ** by potionsmaster

[This is the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp0rJ84HdzQ)

~*~*~*~

Mina sighed softly, her son’s frightened face shining with tears in the gentle glow of his nightlight. She couldn’t exactly blame Kaidan for being unnerved. They had just moved to the orchard a few weeks ago after burying Albert’s father; the old farm house was creaky and creepy and smelled somewhat different than the city they were used to. It was going to need a _ lot _ of work. He might be only five, but she was of the same opinion. She just couldn’t show it as readily.

“Pumpkin, you’ll be alright,” she whispered as she brushed a lock of hair off his forehead. “Nothing’s going to happen.”

“But did the trees eat Daddy?”

“No, sweetheart. Daddy’s on call at the hospital right now. Remember? He’ll be here tomorrow,” she soothed, easing herself to perch on the edge of his bed and mentally cursing the little girl down the road for talking about the trees talking and throwing apples at people they didn’t like. Abby certainly had a wild imagination that was taking a toll on Kaidan’s sleep.

“Oh… okay…” he sniffled, clutching his blanket to his chest and curling up. Mina combed her fingers through his hair, glancing out the window. It was early October and the trees _ were _ rather eerie in the moonlight: gray, twisted, leafless limbs clawed at the sky, like they were trying to grab the moon. 

“I promise he’s ok,” she whispered again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You’re ok, too. I’m ok. We’re all safe and sound, pumpkin. Safe in the house.” She patted his butt under his blanket and started to get up.

“Momma?”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“...please sing? Last time?”

“Alright. _ Last time. _ Then it’s bed for real.”

“Mmkay. Lay down next to me? Please?”

He scooted over and held up a corner of his blankie for her and she was helpless to resist; Kaidan typically spoke rather clearly for such a small child but he still had troubles with ‘elles’ and they sounded more like ‘doubleyous’ when he was tired. 

Mina threw the corner of his blankie over herself and lay down next to him. He immediately nestled up under her arm, head resting on her chest and ear over her heart. She softly started to sing his lullaby.

_ “If you be my star, I’ll be your sky. You can hide underneath me, and come out at night. When I turn jet-black, and you show off your light, I live to let you shine. I live to let you shine…” _

His head grew heavier on her as he relaxed and she stroked his leg, willing him to sleep.

_ “But you can skyrocket away, from me. And never come back if you find another galaxy, far from here, with more room to fly. Just leave me your stardust to remember you by.” _

Soft, even breaths now from his small form. He usually calmed down quickly with this song; she’d sung it to him every night since he’d arrived.

_ “If you be my boat, I’ll be your sea. A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity. Ebbing, and flowing, and pushed by a breeze. I live to make you free. I live to make you free… But you can set sail to the west if you want to. And past the horizon, til I can’t even see you, far from here, where the beaches are wide. Just leave me your wake to remember you by.” _

She hummed the tune, trying to judge how deep he was into relaxation. His little hand twitched where it was resting on her stomach and she couldn’t help but smile at it. 

_ “If you be my star, I’ll be your sky. You can hide underneath me and come out at night. When I turn jet-black, you can show off your light. I live to let you shine, I live to let you shine.” _

Kaidan sighed deeply, totally asleep now. She kissed the top of his head and slid out from underneath him, tucking his blankets around him and moving his teddy bear next to him on the off chance he’d grab for it in the middle of the night. The moon dimmed through the window, briefly hiding behind a cloud, and she felt like it had the right idea. She copied it and slipped through the door, closing it quietly, and made her way down the stairs to the kitchen. The trees danced in the breeze through the big picture window in the dining room across the way and she shuddered, imagining the branches as bony skeleton hands reaching out and tap-tap-tapping on the window, asking to be let in. _ Thanks, Abby… _ She made a mental note to speak to the girl’s parents about it soon. The last thing she needed was to be nervous herself about fantastical notions on inanimate objects. 

She knew what Albert would say. _ Face your fear. Don’t let it rule you. _ He’d find it funny if he were here, and probably try to startle her around some darkened corner or other late at night. He was right, though. Mina gave a small sigh and grabbed her jacket next to the door, stepping out onto the porch and sitting on the swing, gazing at the moon.

It had been a whirlwind the past few years, what with moving from Singapore to Vancouver to be closer to Albert’s family. Hers wanted nothing to do with her, particularly after the way she and Albert had gotten together. She hadn’t looked back, though, and being the wife of a military doctor was not the worst lot in life she could think of. The wind was damp and chill in a gust, moving the trees. She shivered, ignoring the idea that they appeared to be moving closer. They weren’t. She knew they weren’t, it was just her imagination.

Finally meeting Albert’s father and brothers was interesting, to say the least. She had no idea family could be that warm and welcoming, and she relished it. It had only been a short time she’d known Michael, but she felt his loss acutely. He’d given her a big hug and just as big a smile the first time they’d come to the orchard, and then wouldn’t let Kaidan out of his sight for more than a minute, Kaidan’s biotic outbursts be damned. Such a contrast to her own parents cruel indifference. Michael regaled her with stories of how Albert’s mother would have loved to meet their little family and that it was a rare woman indeed who’d managed to snag their son’s heart. It made her sad that she would never hear his jovial voice again, feel the comfort of his hug around them.

A star peeked through the thin cloud cover, winking brightly at her. She blinked at it, inhaling the crisp autumn air and letting it wash over her. Maybe that was Michael’s way of saying he was watching over the family, at their homestead in the BC interior. She remembered how he’d loved hearing Kaidan’s lullaby, too.

_ “If you be my star…” _

Her thoughts turned toward the song and its words. Michael had expressed hopes that Kaidan would follow his and Albert’s footsteps into the military, and maybe, like Albert, to the stars themselves. He’d always wanted to go, he’d said, but since he couldn’t he wanted his family to go if they could. Albert had expressed reservations; the whole reason they had moved to Vancouver was he’d retired. Something had happened he wasn’t able to talk about and the best option, he’d decided, was retire and leave it at that. 

Set sail to the west indeed. They’d sailed west and never looked back. Even so, it was bittersweet in leaving. She’d sent a couple of letters updating her parents as to their whereabouts and status, but they never responded. She’d respect their wishes and leave them in peace. She hadn’t kept anything of her old life to remember. Dust and memories in the wind. No, she’d turned her focus to the future before her in her new life with her son and her husband. Kaidan would never know how much she was thankful for him, unintentional as he was. It had shocked her that Albert had dropped to one knee and proposed right then and there when she’d told him they were pregnant; they’d only known each other for a couple of months and she’d been six weeks along when she told him. They’d gotten married the next week, and the week after that, she moved in with him on base. Her parents had never forgiven her for leaving them and their life behind.

She supposed that was the bittersweet price of being a parent: years of watching a miniature version of themselves grow and learn and play and cry, _ living_, slowly exploring their world farther and farther away until one day they were just _ gone _ and didn’t come back home anymore because they’d found their own path in the stars. 

More stars blinked into being as the clouds moved by, mindlessly humming the lullaby.

_ “If you be my star, I’ll be your sky. You can hide underneath me and come out at night. When I turn jet black, and you show off your light, I live to let you shine. I live to let you shine…” _

Kaidan was special. She never knew her heart could be so full before she had him. He wasn’t exactly a fearful kid, all things considered and Abby’s fertile imagination notwithstanding, but it constantly surprised her how well-adjusted he was. Moving from Singapore to Vancouver when he was three, then moving again in just about a year from city to country, all while dealing with increasingly worrisome headaches and glowing _ blue_, of all things. Albert worked tirelessly trying to find answers and the Alliance thought they found one: biotics. A transporter had crashed near the base while she was pregnant and it was thought the eezo dust exposure had somehow caused it. Thing of it was, nobody knew what to expect or how to handle it. Albie said other kids born on base were starting to display frightening symptoms of tumors and growths, cancers that were aggressive. Kaidan only seemed to have headaches and the strange side effect of things moving around him with the blue aura. 

She would have expected him to become increasingly more fearful of it, of the doctors and machines, of people pointing and staring on the rare occasion it happened in public, but the kid was resilient as hell. He went about his life as happy as she knew he could be, doing what kids did and slowly venturing out farther and farther away from her on discovery quests but always circling back to her in the end. 

Michael had always encouraged Kaidan’s sense of adventure before he died, picking him up and bringing him out to the yard at night before bed and pointing out the constellations and telling the stories that went with them, filling her son’s head with stories of gods and heroes and sailing on a river of stardust into legend. After he had passed, Kaidan had been subdued and clung to her and Albert, trying to understand why he couldn’t follow his grandfather.

“Remember the stars, Kaidan? And how when the heroes had done their remarkable deeds, the gods gave them a place to rest in the sky among the stars? That’s where Grandpa is. He’s a star now. And whenever you feel alone, or scared, you just need to look up at the sky to find him. He’s always going to be there, watching over you,” Albie had said, taking their son out in the yard like his father had so many times before. Kaidan had reached out, trying to touch them.

“Maybe someday I’ll fly away and find him again.”

“Someday, Kaid. Just remember to come back sometimes, ok?”

“Ok, Poppa.”

No matter how much she wanted to stop time in its tracks and keep her little boy with her, she knew she couldn’t. And she wouldn’t stop him from leaving if that’s what he wound up wanting to do. 

_ “Just leave me your stardust to remember you by...” _

Her little star, shining bright in the darkness all around him in spite of it all.

_ “If you be my star, I’ll be your sky. You can hide underneath me and come out at night. When I turn jet-black, and you show off your light, I live to let you shine. I live to let you shine.” _

No doubt in her mind that Kaidan had a bright future in front of him and was bold enough to reach for it. She just hoped that he wouldn’t leave her completely behind when he did.

_ “But you can skyrocket away, from me. And never come back if you find another galaxy. Far from here, with more room to fly. Just leave me your stardust to remember you by. _

_ Stardust, to remember you by…” _


End file.
